Was it really that obvious?

I'm not bragging..

I am 27 years old..

Last year I was 26 years old when people tot that I'm 22 or at least 23 years old..(Yezzzzaaaaaa)Which made me grinning for days..

And today I was at FSG (Faculty of Applied Science), one of the postgrad student said this "Ye ke student degree...final year kan? tapi awak nampak macam dah berumur la..,"

and I was like...WTF!!! (oppsss...quickly acknowledge that I'm fasting)

I ask, "Nampak saya macam umur brapa?"

"30..camtu ar,"

I just cant believe it...

I'm cool at that time..It was just an ordinary conversation with a stranger..a lovely girl..

While waiting for the SPME (Solid Phase Micro Extraction) to develop, I sat down and start to think about it..

I'm not mad..I'm not exaggeratedly replied "muka ko macam makcik!!!," (Believe me she's not..hehehe)

No..I'm not...I'm cool..And I let my mind to try to understand it..


I walked out and went to the toilet..see myself in the mirror.. my eye bag...It's been a while.. Too tired ..due to the lack of sleep..and the effect of the petrol fumes..I smile to myself..and I quickly noticed that I am not as happy as I was..I faked it..

I always consider myself as a happy go lucky guy..even there are people who told me that If God's willing, I'll die smiling (Aminnnnn) because my default face is smiling...(more like grinning i guess)..


But seeing myself in the mirror at that particular time made me realise one thing...Everything inside me right now is being displayed..on my face...


Yes...I am in stress...but I manage my job well (I guess so because I haven't worried yet). Yes...I'm not emotionally healthy right now..and it was just less than a week ago...n I hate myself...


When you were pushed to the edge...It is either to fall or to move away from it...I fall..And that's why I am the one who took the blame.. And I blame myself..for putting my self in the situation that make my life miserable..

Job loads are the best remedy I have in Shah Alam...Yeah...It just offer a diversion during the day..and later at night...It is hard to get a good sleep..really hard..

The best sleep I had was a day after our relationship ended..why..because I was at home..I am with my parents, my siblings, my niece.

Currently...I'm still in Shah Alam...