Hafiz Safwan Thought That...

A thought of my self.."Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none." Benjamin Franklin

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Al-Fatihah to Arwah Pak Ngah

Again, this originates from my father's blog "Sumbangsih".


The first time I was informed that he was admitted at the hospital in Seberang Jaya, I feel so tensed sensing that something must be terribly wrong. It was 3.30 in the morning and Akmal knock on my door to informed me that his mum called and said Pak Ngah has been warded. After phoning my wife, I learned that his daughter contact her and through sobbing voice conveying the inconvenience news.

Sleep than takes the last priority at that time. I was lucky when Akmal wanted to follow me to the hospital.

There he was on the hospital ICU bed, with a big tube which goes into his throat plus other wires and tubes on his body. The sight of him heavily breathing through the help of a breathing machine with the beeping sound from several monitors around his bed doesn’t seem good to me.

The best that I could do then was just to stare at him, hold his hand, or some rubbing of his feet. The prayer said then was more of hopeful thought that the Almighty give him some more time so that he could marry his daughter who was already engaged in a few months time.

The prayers seems to be answered when on the fourth day, I was happy to see him sitting up and taking in some food, while 3 days ago, there was just some movement of hands and feet only, and they feed him through a tube down his throat.

A week after that he was discharged from the hospital and seems to be in good health. But that lasted only for four days. They don’t wait so long to get him to the hospital and this time they found the problem, and it was his kidney which has not been fuctioning well. The doctors performed dialysis on him, and have both side of his chest poked through to extract excess water in the lung, which was causing him breathing difficulties. When all these were done, he looks better and more energetic.

This time he lasted more than a week at home. It was enough a time to receive a delegation from his would be son in law, which came to discuss the wedding and the solemnization date. He look cheerful that day, and everyone inclucing me did not give a single hitch that he won’t be around to perform his part as a wali when the day comes.

Though precautions were taken including taking the pills and treatment of dialysis three times a week, he seem to be puffing out of breath again. His body is getting weak and at the same time he doesn’t seem to have the energy to walk a mere two to three meters. I became worried to know that the doctor told him his heart his okay, his lungs are clear, and they don’t know what is really wrong with him.

Since then he has been going in and out of the hospital several times. Some of the hospital admission was informed to others, while some was not. His family thought that it would be a disturbance to inform other family members since it seems quite casual of him to be warded these days.


19th August 2008

Although he was weak he did came over to see the preparations for Hilmi’s akad-nikah the night before the marriage solemnization. That was the last I saw of him.

28th August 2008

The last I heard of him was when my brother, Ali, phone me to inform me that he just got the message that he was again admitted to hospital after dialysis treatment at Perda. The staff of the dialysis centre sent him by ambulance to Bukit Mertajam Hospital. It was already nightime and quite late for a visit. Thinking that he might survive as usual, I let off my thinking to other areas of interest in my daily life, planning to see him tomorrow.

29th August 2008

After Friday prayers the news came. Hilmi answered the call, and breathlessly inform us that Pak Ngah has just passed away. An awkward feeling engulfed me. Its neither depressed nor helplessness, a vacuum hollow empty feeling like.

It has happened again today. . . . . .

I’ve just lost two brothers in a row?



Al-Fatihah to Md Zain bin Md Ibrahim. A good brother who has sacrifice a lot to see that the family go through a better life during my younger days. May Allah blessed him and place his soul among the Solihins, the Ambiyas and the faithfuls. Amin.

My post:
by: Mohd Hafiz Safwan Bin Md Rijani

It was 2.30 p.m, 29 August 2008...I was at my house, resting..Few hours before, I was in the 'Pusat Kesihatan UiTM' sickbay with a drip needle stuck in my hand. I was suffering from severe diarrhea.

Hilmi called, with the same tone he used to tell me about Mamu Yusuf, he said " Abang, Pak Ngah dah tak dak dah,"

I was sad..but no tears came out. I already planned to go back to Penang (I bought the ticket a week before). But not because of this. At that time, I recalled the memory about the last time me and my father met him.

It was 19th August 2008. My house is filled with laughter and happiness. The next day will be Hilmi's akad nikah. All uncles, aunts, cousins (from my mother's side) were at my house, helping with the 'hantaran' and preparing for the food for tomorrow.

Pak Ngah came that night with Mak Ngah and Wan. We knew that he won't be able to attend the next day function. He told father earlier. But the eagerness to show his happiness give him strength."Esok aku tak boleh mai, aku mai hari nih jenguk2 so kalau aku tak mai esok pun takpa. Tapi kalau sempat aku mai jenguk hangpa," (He was scheduled for blood dialysis for the next day.

I took the chance to talk to him that night. He urge me to 'Kawen Cepat' since my younger brother surpassed me. " Hang tu, cepat sikit kawen, ni adik hang kawen dulu, aparaaa," I answered " Rilek arr Pak Ngah, Safwan dok blajaq lagi, awek pun tak dak lagi, Pak Ngah tolong laa cari calon kat Safwan,". He replied, "Ada, hang nak ka?" He said to my father then. "Anak Mah, cucu Tok Cik, Mah offer kat aku nak pasang anak dia ngan Wan. Wan takmau sebab dia dah ada girlfriend. Huih..anak depa lawa2 woo," I was laughing and politely said, "Pak Ngah, Safwan belajaq lagi laa, nanti dah abis belajaq ok laa," He said to my father "Ani, kalau nak hang pi try sembang ngan Mah, tak pun hang terus cakap kt Pak Cik,"I laugh and can't stop smiling that night. (Tok Cik is my grandfather's cousin, Mah is his daughter and 2-pupu to my father). He was ill but his eagerness hides 50% of his illness. He even offered himself to to help my father to invite all the relatives to my brothers wedding (23/11/2008). I prayed that night so that Pak Ngah will be around at Hilmi's wedding.
I gave him the cloth and shirts from PakTeh n Makteh and he was so happy to receive it. The cloth is for Kak Shah (his daughter which will be marrying his fiance this November). He was very happy that night.

May his soul rest in peace. Al Fatihah to arwah Hj Md Zain Bin Md Ibrahim

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